The Greatest Country On Earth

My fellow Americans,

There's a turn of phrase that keeps popping up and it needs to go away: "America is the greatest country on earth". You hear this said by American politicians in speeches not just to US citizens but in foreign countries as well. You hear it from comedians, just before they criticize something in the US culture. You here it from knee-jerk patriots in cowboy hats, saying it...well, just cuz. You folks need to knock that shit off. Now I know that many of you are, in reflexive Pavlovian fashion, raring back with your standard repost to this sort of thing: "You should thank god you're in a country that allows you the right to say things like that.". First off, if your willingness to speak your mind is contingent upon the government allowing you to do so, you don't know what freedom is. Second, to refuse to criticize the country, because it's such a great country, because it allows you to criticize it, is strained logic worthy of Lewis Carroll. Thirdly, this is my blog so shut the fuck up and listen for a change.

You need to stop saying in public that the US is the greatest country in the world. Not because it's not true, but because it's rude and arrogant. Take a look at the allegory below:

[we're at a big party. People are talking and laughing and having a good time]

Person 1: Hey, John, how's it going?

John: Oh pretty good. How bad can it be? After all I am the smartest person at this party.

Person 1: Uh, yeah. So what's been going on? Haven't seen you in a while.

John: Oh, y'know being smart. Doing smart things. Staying away from the dumb things that you do. I am after all the smartest person at this party.

Person 1: Right. I'm gonna go over here now.

John: Sure thing. Hey if you need the answer to anything just ask. I am smarter than you y'know.

Person 2: Hey, John, have you seen Bob? I can't find him.

John: I don't know where he is. But that doesn't mean I'm not the smartest person here. He's probably off doing dumb things because he's not as smart as me.

Host: Hey, everybody! I have an announcement to make!

John: Yes, yes, we all know, I'm the smartest person here. Thank you for recognizing that fact, but you didn't have to go to any trouble. I know it must be hard for you to understand things like that, not being as smart as me and all.

Host: Actually the neighbors are complaining about the noise, so just try to keep it down.

John: Oh, you silly not smart people. I knew to keep my voice down, because I'm smart. The smartest person at this party in fact. I feel bad for you because these basic smart concepts elude you. How do you survive without my tremendous intellect? etc etc...



See, what I mean? John may genuinely be the smartest person at the party--who knows?--but his attitude is arrogant, conceited, rude, and something that would (and should) get his ass kicked. Also, it should be pointed out, if John continues to congratulate himself on his superior intelligence, he will cease to engage in auto-critique and never feel the need to get any smarter; life is fluid and nothing stays on top of the heap without willingness to change to meet new challenges. Similarly, the United States may in fact be the greatest country on earth, but whether it is or isn't, constantly reminding everyone of that fact does no good to anyone. In fact it harms. It makes everyone else hate us and it stops us from ever wanting to achieve greatness beyond our current level.