A Brief Word on Silence
It has been brought to my attention that I may have been a bit brusk in my last post. I stated that "A great many women never learn the value of silence.". This was not my main point, but was in fact the ground work for the real point about the irony of "Shhhh" imitating a mother's heart when heard from the womb. As it was not the main point, I just sort of blew by it without elaborating, and came off as a bit of a misogynist. I will now elaborate.
A study has been done (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=419040&in_page_id=1879) showing that in western society women on average speak three times as much as men. Mind you, there are studies that refute that. One study being held up in opposition to this states that women on average will speak 16,215 words per day whereas men come in at 15,669, which the new study calls "statistically insignificant". Stand up in front of a crowd and give an impromptu 546 word speech. Or write a 546 word essay on whatever is in your head right now. Doesn't seem so insignificant now, does it?
However, speaking more does not necessarily imply not knowing the value of silence. Perhaps a more accurate way to put it would be "Men tend to value silence more than women.". Yes, I have heard women say "Shut up." and yes I have been subject to men who won't stop talking. This is why I use terms like "on average" and "tend to". It's been pointed out to me that women do in fact value silence, but to achieve the silence, they are more inclined to go away and be alone. I would posit that this is not silence. This is solitude. Silence is a feature of solitude, but solitude is not silence. If you can't find any cigarettes, that does not mean that you have quit smoking; the real test is quitting smoking in the presence of cigarettes. Therefore the true test of whether or not you value silence, is in a social situation. I have known many men to be in a social situation and say next to nothing (and yet still communicate quite well--topic for a different post). I've only seen a few women do that. Granted, I admit it could happen when I'm not there. It's really between you and your yapper. To prove me right or wrong, there is no other test than to look at your own behavior and watch other people. If you are in the presence of at least one other person, are you capable of not talking? For how long? Is it difficult?
A study has been done (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=419040&in_page_id=1879) showing that in western society women on average speak three times as much as men. Mind you, there are studies that refute that. One study being held up in opposition to this states that women on average will speak 16,215 words per day whereas men come in at 15,669, which the new study calls "statistically insignificant". Stand up in front of a crowd and give an impromptu 546 word speech. Or write a 546 word essay on whatever is in your head right now. Doesn't seem so insignificant now, does it?
However, speaking more does not necessarily imply not knowing the value of silence. Perhaps a more accurate way to put it would be "Men tend to value silence more than women.". Yes, I have heard women say "Shut up." and yes I have been subject to men who won't stop talking. This is why I use terms like "on average" and "tend to". It's been pointed out to me that women do in fact value silence, but to achieve the silence, they are more inclined to go away and be alone. I would posit that this is not silence. This is solitude. Silence is a feature of solitude, but solitude is not silence. If you can't find any cigarettes, that does not mean that you have quit smoking; the real test is quitting smoking in the presence of cigarettes. Therefore the true test of whether or not you value silence, is in a social situation. I have known many men to be in a social situation and say next to nothing (and yet still communicate quite well--topic for a different post). I've only seen a few women do that. Granted, I admit it could happen when I'm not there. It's really between you and your yapper. To prove me right or wrong, there is no other test than to look at your own behavior and watch other people. If you are in the presence of at least one other person, are you capable of not talking? For how long? Is it difficult?
posted by John McKenna at 10:04 AM
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