Let's Alienate the Wimmins!
I have a controversial thought in my head. A thought so explosive, it requires a preamble. One of the many double standards under which we languish in this culture is...well it's better illustrated than described:
Person speaking in public forum: "I think women are smarter (or any other positive quality) than men."
[audience applauds, cheers, etc]
vs.
Person speaking in public forum: "I think men are smarter (or any other positive quality) than women."
[audience screams in disgust, throws chair, labels speaker as a Nazi, etc]
There is a cultural stigma in the west against criticizing female culture. There are easily understandable factors that cause this. Typically an oppressed population is free to criticize the oppressor but not vice versa. It's a balance thing. This is not the controversial thought I'm bringing up. I'm just laying that as a foundation because my controversial thought goes against the "don't pick on women" thing and if we can circumvent the Pavlovian kill-the-chauvinist reaction, then perhaps we can give this some serious attention and get wiser as a species. Also, I'm not saying that I necessarily think this is true; I just think it's an interesting area of thought that's worth looking into.
Okay here goes:
Why do women tend to talk more than men? Why do women tend to focus so much energy on communication? Why do women not only try to express their feelings, but try to get others to express their feeling as well?
Maybe it's because they're not very good at it.
It's generally assumed that women are more sensitive and more communicative of emotion than men, but could it be that the opposite is true, that men by and large are actually better at expressing their feeling than women? It could be. If something comes naturally to you, you don't tend to talk about; people only tend to talk at length about things that have some sort of uncertainty. There aren't many conversations about how the sky is up or how water is wet. Imagine this scenario: I walk in to my home. Aaron say, "Hey, how's it going?". I say "Meh, work sucked. I wish I didn't have to work.". To which Aaron replies "Yep. Not much you can do.". Sounds like a standard grunty male non-conversation, but we have just communicated effectively and efficiently our current emotional status, our attitudes toward work, our desires for a better world, and acknowledged that we understand and feel for each other. Not only have we made this communication happen, it happened without effort and in a matter of mere seconds, leaving us free to go scratch ourselves and lift heavy things and rehearse complicated handshakes. No obsessing over minutiae. No handholding and processing out loud. Just quickshot, meat n' potatoes, brain-to-brain data transfer. That's some pretty good communication skills.
Now I'm not saying this is true. I am no great fan of my own gender. I am however trying to knock down a prejudice. Prejudices keep us from thinking and, call me crazy, I think thinking is good for you. Perhaps women are better at communicating than men, or maybe men are better at it. Or perhaps, and I think this is more likely, we each have a different style of communication that should be honored and appreciated. The fact that humans communicate at all is pretty cool, doncha think? Hello? Is anybody understanding me?
Person speaking in public forum: "I think women are smarter (or any other positive quality) than men."
[audience applauds, cheers, etc]
vs.
Person speaking in public forum: "I think men are smarter (or any other positive quality) than women."
[audience screams in disgust, throws chair, labels speaker as a Nazi, etc]
There is a cultural stigma in the west against criticizing female culture. There are easily understandable factors that cause this. Typically an oppressed population is free to criticize the oppressor but not vice versa. It's a balance thing. This is not the controversial thought I'm bringing up. I'm just laying that as a foundation because my controversial thought goes against the "don't pick on women" thing and if we can circumvent the Pavlovian kill-the-chauvinist reaction, then perhaps we can give this some serious attention and get wiser as a species. Also, I'm not saying that I necessarily think this is true; I just think it's an interesting area of thought that's worth looking into.
Okay here goes:
Why do women tend to talk more than men? Why do women tend to focus so much energy on communication? Why do women not only try to express their feelings, but try to get others to express their feeling as well?
Maybe it's because they're not very good at it.
It's generally assumed that women are more sensitive and more communicative of emotion than men, but could it be that the opposite is true, that men by and large are actually better at expressing their feeling than women? It could be. If something comes naturally to you, you don't tend to talk about; people only tend to talk at length about things that have some sort of uncertainty. There aren't many conversations about how the sky is up or how water is wet. Imagine this scenario: I walk in to my home. Aaron say, "Hey, how's it going?". I say "Meh, work sucked. I wish I didn't have to work.". To which Aaron replies "Yep. Not much you can do.". Sounds like a standard grunty male non-conversation, but we have just communicated effectively and efficiently our current emotional status, our attitudes toward work, our desires for a better world, and acknowledged that we understand and feel for each other. Not only have we made this communication happen, it happened without effort and in a matter of mere seconds, leaving us free to go scratch ourselves and lift heavy things and rehearse complicated handshakes. No obsessing over minutiae. No handholding and processing out loud. Just quickshot, meat n' potatoes, brain-to-brain data transfer. That's some pretty good communication skills.
Now I'm not saying this is true. I am no great fan of my own gender. I am however trying to knock down a prejudice. Prejudices keep us from thinking and, call me crazy, I think thinking is good for you. Perhaps women are better at communicating than men, or maybe men are better at it. Or perhaps, and I think this is more likely, we each have a different style of communication that should be honored and appreciated. The fact that humans communicate at all is pretty cool, doncha think? Hello? Is anybody understanding me?
posted by John McKenna at 12:10 PM
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