Truth! - part 15
The following statements are at least true if not interesting.
The story of David and Goliath is probably not the best metaphor for overcoming one's carnal lusts. SPOILER ALERT: The little guy wins.
If you believe that masturbation is immoral and/or unhealthy you are a fucking idiot. I know I try to pretend that I'm an intelligent writer and generally tart up my points more than that but to be less blunt would be dishonest. Every reputable doctor and psychologist in the world disagrees with you and the ONLY reason you think it's wrong is a silly misinterpretation of the "Sin of Onan" story in the Bible (his sin was disobedience to God's will, not spilling his seed). Masturbation is so healthy in fact it should be mandatory. Okay, well maybe that last bit is just opinion.
One of these days I'm going to learn not to go into Whole Foods. Every time I go I leave broke and angry.
The letters C and X serve no purpose. Every sound they make can be made by other letters. All C sounds can be made by K, S, and Tsh. All X sounds can be made with Ks and Z.
I never thought I'd live to see the day when a political candidate would lie about her father being Bozo the Clown. No really, it never would have occurred to me to think that.
The phrase "Theory of Evolution" is not intended to imply that evolution may or may not have happened. It refers to the body of theoretical ideas regarding the exact mechanisms by which evolution occurred. It's the same way scientists use the phrase "Theory of Gravity". No credible scientist disputes that evolution happens anymore than they dispute that gravity exists; just the exact how of it. It is as close to a fact as science can responsibly get.
Having done some "ghost hunting" in my time and caught some really cool EVPs (electronic voice phenomenon) I can say with absolute certainty...that it doesn't scientifically prove ghosts exist. Not even close. Catching an EVP, include the terrifying jump-to-the-ceiling one I caught, proves one thing: that EVP is a real phenomenon in the sense that something was caught on a recording. What it really is is another question. To leap to the ghost hypothesis skips the steps of establishing that consciousness can exist outside a brain (of which we have never seen and example in nature), that disembodied consciousness is aware (of which we have never seen and example in nature), that said consciousness can affect its surroundings despite its lack of matter (of which we have never seen and example in nature), and that a digital recording can be used by them to communicate (of which there-okay I'm sick of typing that).
If you are 30 years old and look like you are made of jerky and smell like a rotting corpse and have a voice like Tom Waits gargling a handful of scorpions, it's time to reevaluate the wisdom of doing all that of crystal meth.
At some point during every theatrical production I am involved in I have a moment when I think to myself "What a weird activity this is!".
I agree with conservatives on one issue: we need to go back to the sensibilities of the 1950s. Not in all areas. Just in taxation. The top tax rate was 91% for incredibly rich motherfuckers and the economy thrived because of it. As opposed to 35% now. It's a good thing Reagn and Nixon are both dead. Otherwise they'd be run out of the country for being such Marxists. The top tax rate under them was 50% and 70% respectively.
"Pants" is plural, even though they're really only one thing, because they originally came in two pieces. One for each leg.
Frotteurism is defined as "sexual arousal from the recurrent urge or behavior of touching or rubbing against a nonconsenting person". I generally insist on proper use of language but I think we should make an exception in this case and for the sake of humor call it "Icopaphilia".
Everyone dies confused.
The story of David and Goliath is probably not the best metaphor for overcoming one's carnal lusts. SPOILER ALERT: The little guy wins.
If you believe that masturbation is immoral and/or unhealthy you are a fucking idiot. I know I try to pretend that I'm an intelligent writer and generally tart up my points more than that but to be less blunt would be dishonest. Every reputable doctor and psychologist in the world disagrees with you and the ONLY reason you think it's wrong is a silly misinterpretation of the "Sin of Onan" story in the Bible (his sin was disobedience to God's will, not spilling his seed). Masturbation is so healthy in fact it should be mandatory. Okay, well maybe that last bit is just opinion.
One of these days I'm going to learn not to go into Whole Foods. Every time I go I leave broke and angry.
The letters C and X serve no purpose. Every sound they make can be made by other letters. All C sounds can be made by K, S, and Tsh. All X sounds can be made with Ks and Z.
I never thought I'd live to see the day when a political candidate would lie about her father being Bozo the Clown. No really, it never would have occurred to me to think that.
The phrase "Theory of Evolution" is not intended to imply that evolution may or may not have happened. It refers to the body of theoretical ideas regarding the exact mechanisms by which evolution occurred. It's the same way scientists use the phrase "Theory of Gravity". No credible scientist disputes that evolution happens anymore than they dispute that gravity exists; just the exact how of it. It is as close to a fact as science can responsibly get.
Having done some "ghost hunting" in my time and caught some really cool EVPs (electronic voice phenomenon) I can say with absolute certainty...that it doesn't scientifically prove ghosts exist. Not even close. Catching an EVP, include the terrifying jump-to-the-ceiling one I caught, proves one thing: that EVP is a real phenomenon in the sense that something was caught on a recording. What it really is is another question. To leap to the ghost hypothesis skips the steps of establishing that consciousness can exist outside a brain (of which we have never seen and example in nature), that disembodied consciousness is aware (of which we have never seen and example in nature), that said consciousness can affect its surroundings despite its lack of matter (of which we have never seen and example in nature), and that a digital recording can be used by them to communicate (of which there-okay I'm sick of typing that).
If you are 30 years old and look like you are made of jerky and smell like a rotting corpse and have a voice like Tom Waits gargling a handful of scorpions, it's time to reevaluate the wisdom of doing all that of crystal meth.
At some point during every theatrical production I am involved in I have a moment when I think to myself "What a weird activity this is!".
I agree with conservatives on one issue: we need to go back to the sensibilities of the 1950s. Not in all areas. Just in taxation. The top tax rate was 91% for incredibly rich motherfuckers and the economy thrived because of it. As opposed to 35% now. It's a good thing Reagn and Nixon are both dead. Otherwise they'd be run out of the country for being such Marxists. The top tax rate under them was 50% and 70% respectively.
"Pants" is plural, even though they're really only one thing, because they originally came in two pieces. One for each leg.
Frotteurism is defined as "sexual arousal from the recurrent urge or behavior of touching or rubbing against a nonconsenting person". I generally insist on proper use of language but I think we should make an exception in this case and for the sake of humor call it "Icopaphilia".
Everyone dies confused.
posted by John McKenna at 12:25 PM
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